I’ve always felt that people never understand the thrust and motivation behind my projects.

Most artists, most people in the art business, most outside observers of artists and of people in the art business, seem to take it as a given that the goal of the artist is to personally succeed – success being measured by public acceptance, appreciation and / or sales.

In many (most) ways, my projects have always seemed to fly in the face of the same. People are forever telling me that I am shooting myself in the foot. Sabotaging my career. Burning valuable bridges. 

What they say is always true.

Just they misunderstand my motivation.

Do I not want to succeed, be appreciated, and understood?

God yes.

I deeply crave the same.

Indeed, before I launch any and every project or show, I am always utterly convinced that this one will be THE one that will put me over the top.

I remember, when I first launched my website, I was absolutely sure that the paparazzi would be crowded around outside the front of our building the very next day.

How else can the artist get it up to invest all the time and energy necessary to create a quality project or show, unless they believe in it completely?

But of course, when compared to my expectation, nothing much would happen.

But something would happen, and that something would then get added to my foundation.

The course is a marathon, not a one hundred yard dash.

The rule seems to be, that for every hundred you invest, the return will usually be one or two.

The key to success is to invest one hundred times.

Then those ones and twos add up.

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I used to be a Moonie.

Nearly all of my time as a Moonie was spent traveling around the country in a van fundraising for the movement.

Prior to, I mostly attended workshops, which only dealt with the ideals of the movement and of its teachings.

There is a lot of good to be said about the ideals and teachings of The Unification Church.

Once I relocated to NYC (which was pretty much Moonie Central at the time) and became independent of the movement, I started hearing about and experiencing the underbelly of the church – the lies, the inequality, the sometimes violence and often blatant contradictions that exist between the ideals and the reality.

My response was to launch project after project (mostly public writing projects) pointing out the obvious problems. These projects culminated in a series of public letters written to Reverend Moon, addressing the screamingly obvious contradictions and flaws, which I felt needed to be addressed if the movement were to survive, much more accomplish its stated goals.

I cared, but my valid input was not appreciated.

I became the heretic, and for the most part, I was shunned.

“You just don’t get it,” said most everyone I knew in the movement, which was most everyone I knew at the time.

“Go along, get along,” was their message.

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After leaving, I began to see the exact same cult mentality everywhere I went in regards to all aspects of society - and they all behave in the exact same way.

If you think like they do and don’t make waves – you are in.

Otherwise, even if you are obviously right, you are shunned.  

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This will be a relatively short chapter, as I prefer to let my Projects speak for themselves.

Know that there are two or three times more projects than those listed on my site at this time, and my hope is to eventually scan and post all of them.

That said, I’ll tell you three things that are consistently true about all of my Projects:

1.    My motivation is never, ever, to make fun of or ridicule the other (person, institution, belief or power structure) being mentioned or addressed in that project. Indeed, I think you will find an atmosphere of understanding and appreciation from me towards the other in all of them. This cannot, not be true, as that is the truth of what I have always felt and experienced.

2.    Everything I write in my projects is factually true.

3.    No one, not one person, who I have publicly addressed in my Projects, will publicly, on the record, disagree. They can’t. That’s why they shun me. It’s their only defense.

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The true standard of value is not who says that you are, but rather who, when considering your entire foundation, is willing to publicly say that you are not.

I think that I simply am, obviously so, or at very least, having spent a lifetime putting myself out there, as of yet, so far, no one has ever publicly said that I am not.